returns fun

Dear customer,

You wanted to make a return without a receipt. The good news is that you came to a store that still allows returns without a receipt.

The bad news? First off, the magazine is nonreturnable, and would have been even with the receipt. Yes, our return policy does say that, and you would have been told this if you had asked about it. We just can't take that back. Sorry, but I can't change that.

Yes, you are free to give that to my coworker. Sure, why not? It's your possession. Yes, I caught your little dig about the ridiculous rules and the people who follow them. You're still not returning the magazine.

Second, you will get store credit for the lowest available sale price. Yes, that does mean that I take off the member discount. I'm sorry that you don't have a card, but I have no way of knowing if the purchase was made with a card or not. Yes, if you had the receipt, you could get the full amount back, but I can't offer that without the receipt.

I'm sorry you feel that is unfair. Yes, I can look you up in the system and see that there isn't a card in your name, but that isn't proof that you didn't use one.

I'm sorry that you feel that we are cheating you. You aren't going to buy a member card because this is the way the store treats its customers? I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping to sell one more during my shift. No, that doesn't change my mind.

Yes, I believe you when you say you don't have a member card (maybe). No, I can't change the return policy. It's really a generous return policy when you consider how many places don't allow any non-receipt returns, and maybe I should have told you that.

No, I'm not doing this because I think you are a bad person. Oh, now you acknowledge that I don't have any say in policy? I appreciate that. No, I'm still not going to break the rules for you. No, I don't think you're a thief. Yes, you are still missing out on that ten percent.

Ma'am, I can't even prove that you bought the books in the first place, let alone that you didn't buy them online, with a card, or from Amazon. You don't have a receipt. I wish I could have said that to you.

You're not coming back? I really wish I believed that.